Monday, November 20, 2006

One Night As A Homeless Person

Time is my enemy and my friend

It all begins on the night of November 18Th, 2006. I was working at TWC. It was a long eight hour shift. Had a $1,000 sale I was working extra hard to make an extra buck. Well while I was working I did know that the new Nintendo Wii was coming out the next day. On Friday there were massive lines for the PS3. So naturally there should be lines for the Wii. So while I am working I send Kim out to check on the lines. Best Buy had a line and there were only two or so people at Target. So in my mind Target was the place to be after work. It was about 9:45 when I arrived. Cold, so cold out. There was eight people a head of me in line. I knew that if I was going to make it all night I would have to be prepared.

The List
  • T-Shirt
  • Long Sleeve Shirt
  • Sweatshirt
  • Wind Breaker Jacket (water proof)
  • Down Winter Jacket
  • Jeans
  • Ecco Shoes (Gortex)
  • Wool Skull Hat ( skull for intimidation)
  • Two sets of Gloves (winter, leather)
  • Chair
  • Two Blankets
  • Backpack for of goodies to keep me awake

Now that is a list of supplies to be out all night in November. Yes it could be better but for short notice I think it kicks ass. So I get to my spot setup my chair and start talking with the guy next to me who is just wearing a light Timberland jacket and that is it. I was like man you should go in Target real quick and get a chair. He was like Nah, I'll be okay. I'm tough. Well from his accent I could tell he was a New Yorker. A real tough guy you know' Well instead of sitting and freezing I start the pacing, walking, anything to stay active. Not to long after arriving I give Amanda a call, and it wasn't a few minutes latter that Amanda is pulling up with her Entourage with my Hot Chocolate. She was going out parting.

Well I was feeling pretty good after that. Then an hour or so goes by. I start to get bored. So I call up Annaka aka Canadian Boy Slayer. After talking with her she decides to come visit me dragging along Cassidy. But before she does I ask if she can bring me some more supplies. At this point I am getting cold. My legs were frozen. As a good friend would she goes to my house for the extras, an even better wife Kim gets all the stuff together for me.

New List

  • Down Blanket
  • Socks
  • Flannel Pants

I get my gear on and all of a sudden I am getting hungry. A hot cheese burger is sounding sweet about now. So as a homeless person would do I ask for one. Annaka agrees to get me one. This is where things start going down hill...

For one that cheeseburger had no cheese. That is brutal you know when you are craving something and you just can't fill that void. Well Annaka and Cassidy hung for a while till Cassidy got cold. It then turned into my time to bunker down, get situated and relax. I wanted to use the least amount of energy to stay warm. You know sitting in the cold is mostly mental, so it doesn't help when you have a guy from NY saying "Man is it fucking cold" every 5 minutes or so. Well then I break the cardinal rule when you're in an uncontrolled situation. I say "Well we will be fine just as long as it doesn't rain, staying dry is key" It wasn't more then 20 minutes later and it starts raining. What a nightmare. Now I am soaked, and cold with now umbrella. I put my down blanket in the car and try to tuff it out hoping it stops raining. It soon does and I pull out my blanket and try to just relax. I did end up taking two fifteen minute naps. Always to be woken up by the beer drinkers down the line saying "You're gonna pay $250 to play Donkey Kong, No Fucking way!"

So I couldn't help myself but I do it again. I call out and say well if it stays like this we will be fine. At least the wind isn't blowing around. Here comes my black cloud, the wind picked up blowing every ones traps and umbrellas. Lets just say I wasn't every ones favorite person right then. Hours went by like that and eventually I did make it through this experience getting a Wii 9th in line.

Special Thanks to : Kim, Annaka, Amanda, Cassidy. For you if it weren't for you I would be cold, sick, hungry, and most possibly dead.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Who's Your Daddy?

My Gray is Growing
It was Saturday, 11/4/2006, a very busy day was planned. Zoe had ballet and Kim was getting her teeth cleaned. I had work that day so when I woke up in the morning it was straight to getting ready for the day. I am required to wear a step above business casual at TWC where I sell shoes. So I take Zoe to her ballet class and while I am starting to read my new book by Max Brooks. "The Zombie Survival Guide" (check it out) and I swear people are loud on purpose. But this guy has this pager thing and it is making this god awful buzz, ring, bling sound. Any normal person when they heard that would grab the pager and see who it was. Well not this guy. It goes off for a good twenty minutes. Try reading with that going on. Well at the same time this little kid is playing with the door to the building. Guess what is going off when the door is opened and closed another bell. Well when the mother finally gets on her kid to sit down and tells her kid that they were making an annoying bell go off well that is when the guy grabs his pager. Thank god he gets it. Well five minutes later it goes off again.

It's things like this that make my hair gray.

Daddy Duties...
After Zoes ballet I take her over to see Kim while she is getting her teeth cleaned. Of course she isn't done yet so I asked to go back and see her. (This is the coolest dentist office ever) So the front desk shows me to the back were Kim is sitting in her nice chair looking out the huge window. Zoe and I sit down and wait to see how long it will take due to I have to go to work soon. While I am sitting there the dentist comes in and this is one that I have never met before. She is a younger woman that looks new to her profession so I say hello when our eyes make contact.

Daws122: Hello
Dentist: Hello, how are you?
Daws122: Good and you?
Dentist: Great! So your daughter is getting her teeth cleaned?
Daws122: Ahh? Daughter?
Dentist: Ahh? Yeah, Kimberly is your daughter right?
Daws122: Hmmm... No she is my wife.
Dentist: OMG, I am so sorry!
Daws122: Wow, do I look that old?

Well now it is official I am an old man. When your own wife is mistaken for your daughter you know that father time has slapped you in the face. I think I can actually feel the gray growing now.

Baby Names that we are considering: Amy, Elly, Izzy.